Deutsche hardcorechat & Camsexdays: Untitled

Frightened little wanted her Daddy

Today I had a very painful experience. So much so that I was whisked by ambulance to the nearest A&E department with a strange blood pressure, a resting pulse of 115 and nausea.

All I wanted was Daddy by my side keeping me safe. But when Daddy offered to come, little said no. little is very aware of firstly how difficult it would have been for Daddy to reach the hospital and secondly, just how important Daddy’s job is.

Instead, I kept imagining Pops in my arms and tried to stay strong, just as Daddy would have wanted.

Gladly, it appears after many tests that I have a simple urinary tract infection. They couldn’t find any other reason for me to be feeling so unwell.

It’s obviously always good news to be told that you haven’t had a heart attack (especially when you’re only 36) but then I felt silly and a fake. That I’d wasted much NHS monies that could have been put to better use serving someone actually having a heart attack.

Tonight I lie in my bed missing Daddy and longing to be safe in his arms. Sadly it is not our weekend to see each other and so I have to wait until next week to be near Daddy again.

Becoming unwell in such a way whilst alone is frightening on many levels. It certainly reminded me how I need to be closer to Daddy…

What do I need from my Daddy?

I need Daddy to love me unconditionally.

I need Daddy to be firm but fair. Lay down his ground rules and stick to them.

I need Daddy not to falter. If I’ve done something wrong punish me, if I’ve been good reward me.

I need Daddy to be proud of me. For this to happen I need to be clear of his expectations of me and when he is proud, to tell me so.

I need Daddy to touch me. A gentle stroke here, a hand in the small of my back there. It’s not all about pain but about public confirmation that he is there by my side. That if I reached out he’d grab me and hold me safely in his grasp.

I need Daddy to ensure I am safe at all times I am with him.

I need Daddy to listen to me…and my body. Both in play and out.

I need Daddy to trust me.

I need Daddy to want me, both physically and emotionally.

I need Daddy to want me to be happy and to help me find sources of happiness.

I need Daddy to make me feel fulfilled.

I need Daddy to help me to want more from life.

I want Daddy to be mine. I never want to share Daddy (other than with his children).

I want Daddy to always be there if I need him.

I want Daddy.

First problems...

Well after 6 months without a cross word, Daddy and I had our first ‘issue’ :(

Just lately Daddy and I haven’t had any time to ourselves as my youngest son is always present after being rejected by his father! This weekend we had a lovely time both as a threesome out and about as well as with Daddy’s parents and sister.

Late yesterday afternoon I dropped Daddy to his friends house for an evening with his friends playing Dungeons & Dragons. I left him and returned to his flat to have an evening with my son before Daddy returned. I was expecting this to happen by 2am at the latest. Now the biggest problems with this is that firstly I can not sleep til everyone is home safely in their beds. Secondly, in my marriage, my husband had a habit of going out til all hours doing Lord only knows what and would just expect me to sit and take it. So when Daddy returned at 5am, I’d got myself in a bit of a state.

By the time he came home, I’d left our bed and was curled up on the sofa with my son on the camp bed in the front room

I should point out that Daddy doesn’t drive and so was reliant upon his friends to bring him home.

In total opposition to what I am used to, Daddy tried to talk to me, apologised and asked me to return to his room with him. But I was upset and hurt and refused to budge.

At 8am I went into his room to get my phone (I don’t wear a watch) so I could check the time and have it with me for when the alarm sounded. I thought Daddy would be asleep, but he spoke to me as I walked past the bed asking if I was ok. A few minutes later he arrived in the front room asking if I’d just walked past (or if he’d imagined it) and whether I’d return to his room with him yet. I took a deep breathe and followed him.

I got into bed with Daddy and we laid there and talked.

To many this may all seem pathetic and ridiculous, but it was quite a huge problem for me.

Daddy and I noticed two things which were complete opposites to our previous relationships. Firstly Daddy came to me on the sofa and apologised something I’ve certainly never experienced before. Usually I would have to go and apologise and then be ignored for a few days after. Though for Daddy, the thing that was different was that I was willing to deal with it there and then. I wasn’t going to hold it against him at a later date.

So, Daddy and I have had our first ‘argument’ (not that we argued at all really) and we have survived :)

What’s important now is that Daddy and I find a way to spend some time together and reaffirm how we feel for each other.

Thank you for listening to me Daddy and understanding why I struggled so badly with the events of the evening. Thank you for apologising, holding me close and telling me you loved me….even when I couldn’t say the same to you!

Here’s to continuing on our journey together, one step at a time :) x

Time

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last posted. Time really does fly.

Daddy is in his flat. Although he’s been there for over a month, the sofa’s still haven’t arrived! Though they’re due to come on Tuesday and now Daddy is considering having a house warming party! :)

I myself have been trying to move. I found a property right next door to Daddy’s and had an offer accepted on it. Sadly it appears that I’m going to have to pull out of the purchase. You see in order to buy my new place, I need the monies my ex owes me for my deposit. It now appears that to gain my money I’m going to have to go to court and fight for it!

I’m determined to move away from here. I’m too near my ex, which seems to cause consistent problems and I’ve received nasty messages and had my car vandalised over the past few weeks. I just feel I need to move for my own safety if nothing else…though in honesty, I really want to be closer to Daddy.

Today I discovered that one of the people involved in all the backstabbing and gossiping against me is in fact one of my sisters. I always said I’ve felt like an orphan since I left my marital house, I suppose this just goes to prove that theory.

On a good note, my relationship with Daddy is (in my opinion) going extremely well. We’ve managed to see quite a lot of each other recently which has been great. We still haven’t had a cross word (though he can be very mean to me at times) and I pray that continues. A happy Daddy is a happy little.

I suppose I really ought to go to sleep, it’s almost 3am again!

Words for Daddy

The other day I heard this song and realised how much it reminds me of how I feel about Daddy…

Heart beats fast, Colours and Promises

How to be brave, How can I love when I’m afraid

To fall, But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt, Suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer

I have died everyday, Waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a

Thousand years

I’ll love you for a, Thousand more.

Time stands still, Beauty in all she is

I will be brave, I will not let anything

Take away, What’s standing in front of me

Every breath, Every hour has come to this.

One step closer

Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Daddy is my ‘Thousand Years’ :)

Never a truer word said. I love MY Daddy with all my heart :)

Tit for tat hehe

Big can be beautiful :)

oooohhhhhh look, porn for Daddy ;) hehe

but Daddy doesn't mind at all ;)

Such an exquisite feeling :)

Ooohhhhh pegs too…..

Has Daddy had a good day?

Photo

little must have been a good girl to get such rewards from Daddy...

little must have been a good girl to get such rewards from Daddy :)

Just hold me Daddy….tight

Hmmmm I love Daddy in a suit……

A very productive weekend

Daddy has officially moved :) no more driving repeatedly up and down the motorway, we now have a space to share here :)

My move is a very slow process and I can only hope the money I need arrives soon. I have an appointment tomorrow so I’m hoping they can arrange the mortgage in principal.

The possibility of moving next to Daddy is both exciting and scary. little’s don’t liked to be scared, I’m really having to put all my faith and trust in Daddy….. I hope I’m not making a mistake….

A happy little

Daddy’s back in my bed tonight, that’s always something to smile about :)

Emotional

Tonight Daddy has shown a pure example of why he is my Daddy.

It’s been a difficult evening with my first assignment grade arriving lower than I’d have liked. I was feeling like a very lonely little.

Daddy obviously sensed this and phoned me. He talked me through the emotions I was feeling d when I couldn’t stop the tears from silently flowing, he started to distract me with stories of his silly games :) I can’t help but giggle when my big strong sensible Daddy begins to tell me of his evil wizards adventures hehe

As I told you, you are very special Daddy. I don’t think any man has ever captured my heart the way that you have. You show me that anything can be possible if I just put my mind to it.

I love you Daddy xxx

Deutsche hardcorechat & Camsexdays

Friday, June 7, 2013

Untitled